The reality of a Chronic Condition
I’ve blogged about migraines before. This was yesterday. A migraine day. On days like this I sleep a lot and do the work that I can horizontally. With my dogs on top of me. As a full-time, working voice actor, on my good days, when my head is perfectly clear, I often let the thought creep into my mind: maybe I’ll never get another migraine. On a clear day, meaning a headache free day, I feel amazing. I am happy. I have no pain. I can record and work with clients and I am myself. But for me, migraines have been chronic since I had my twins almost 18 years ago. So, what does this mean as a working mom and a small business owner who wants to serve my clients well on good days and on bad ones? It means that I have to make choices that will not cause more migraines, and when I have them I have to be realistic about what I can reasonably do on a given day to accommodate my voice over clients.
No Live Sessions
As a working pro voice actor, I love doing live sessions, but will not do them on migraine days. Why? Migraine medication is strong. On a clear day, I am responsive. I can listen to client feedback and deliver. I also mimic well. On a migraine day, I struggle. Every thing I do all day long is a struggle. I am proud of what I accomplish on those days, but I do not feel a need to put my struggle under a microscope. The few times I have made exceptions for clients I have regretted it every time. They have not been my best sessions. If you are a migraine sufferer too, I suggest only self- directing on those days.
Hydrating and Eating Healthy
On clear days and migraine days, the choices I make about what I put in my body for food and drink make a profound difference in my well-being. On a clear day, I always try to drink half my body weight in ounces of water. I need to stay hydrated so that I can do my voice over work. My hope is that by hydrating I will also prevent headaches from coming on. On migraine days, I hydrate to help get through the headache. I will confess that I typically also need a ginger ale to help combat the nausea, but beyond that I drink a lot of water to help make the headache pass.
Making healthy food choices is essential to migraine survival. In general I am gluten and dairy free and try to avoid foods hat cause inflammation. According to Healthline, “Gluten may trigger migraines in people who don’t have celiac disease but instead have a sensitivity to gluten. Gluten sensitivity isn’t well-understood yet.” I have to avoid a lot of foods, like bananas and those that contain milk products, particularly fresh dairy. For me, there is a difference between having a small bit of melted cheddar cheese and fresh mozzarella. According to Harvard University’s journal Article, “Could a Hidden Allergy Be Causing Your Migraines?” the article explains that “Foods high in fat can also trigger headaches [4], but, to many migraine sufferers, supposedly healthy foods such as wheat (gluten), dairy and bananas, are also problems. However, there is currently no accepted consensus among scientists on how so many innocuous foods could induce migraines.” So, for me, I have found that my headaches are more easily managed when I eat small, frequent meals without my typical triggers. On headache days, I tend to want to eat more carbs, which must be a comfort food for me.
Remembering my Limitations/Keeping Goals in Focus
I will confess that I do make choices knowing that the wrong one could lead to a Migraine. I leave fun events early, like industry wide BBQs. I often turn down dinner invitations that I really want to say yes to, even at conferences, because I know that late nights will certainly lead to a migraine. Essentially, my limitations have to stay in the forefront of my mind, otherwise I will have more migraines come my way than I can handle, and that, frankly, would no be good for my voice over business. I also have to limit my work day. For example, this week I got a new demo back. I was so excited to start marketing it that I worked for hours after dinner, well past my bed time. Guess what? I had a horrendous migraine and lost most of the next day. I pushed beyond my limitations and it was not smart.
I think about it this way: I try to set myself up for success. I regularly keep my small business goals in focus, and in order to stay on track for those goals, migraine maintenance is part of my strategy. If I lose site of my health and wellness strategy, it is inextricably linked to my business goals. I was reading a new book about food and nutrition yesterday and it sparked I kind of light bulb moment for me, but it relates to this, too. First, there was a survey about my physical health. Then there was a survey about my mental health. Lastly, there was a survey about my financial health. The book went on to explain how the three are linked, and when any of them is not in balance the others too are out of balance.
For me, as a working mom, I need to my business to run well for so many reasons, but that is another blog. If I cannot keep migraine maintenance in check, then none of my voice over goals will be within reach.
In the past year, we lost Ruth Bader Ginsberg, feminist icon. Her story is nothing short of amazing. For any working mom, Justice Ginsberg is the quintessential role model in many ways. When institutions like Harvard tried to place road blocks before her, she simply pivoted and found another way by moving to Columbia. When Ginsburg could not get hired by the large New York City law firms because they simply did not hire women at the time she was working, she forged he own path in the public domain, a path the was paved with so much success it led her to the United States Supreme Court where for decades she was the voice of liberal change. Justice Ginsberg’s example serves as a role model for so many working women in so many fields. Her determination was limitless. She continually found a path toward success. Achievement knew no limitations. Her focus on her end goals is a model for us all. To succeed as a professional female voice over actor, the same fierce determination is vital to build something from nothing. We are constantly thrown curve balls and challenges, and it is the ability of those of us to look beyond these challenges and maintain focus that separates successful voice actors who persevere in an extremely competitive field from those who dabble for a time.
Voiceover life is often described as feast or famine. Sometimes I say my months come in like a lamb and go out like a lion. It takes real determination to push through these ups and downs. You have to be dedicated to the long road, and understand that a voice over career can much more accurately be compared to a marathon than a sprint. When the voice over gods shine down on you, it is the best feeling in the world. But we all go through times when the work just is not abundant, and we have to continue to submit auditions and work on our craft with the confidence that in an hour or in a day the tide can turn and the work will start pouring in.
In life, there are plenty of people with talent who abandon their goals. Why? They simply lack the determination to reach them. If you haven’t heard this yet, I will say it again here, in voice over it is not about the voice. A good voice will only get you so far. A voice over career, which is really what you want, is about fierce determination to succeed. It’s about knowing how to build industry connections and running your small business. It’s about maintaining your skills. And it’s about solid marking with a focus on your goals. If you want to succeed in voice over, you need to be committed to working hard!
‘Tis the season, and this season, after another year of really hard work, I’m sure hoping that I made Santa’s nice list! Anyone who is an established professional in voice over will tell you that at some point we were bold enough to chase a dream. I would not be where I am in voiceover today if I didn’t have confidence in myself and passion for voiceover, but ultimately, it all came from a big dream of a career in voice over. Having dreams, or visions of where my career will go has served me well, and what better time of year to think about what I want for myself in 2021 then the week that Santa is getting on his sled! So Santa, please stuff this VO Mama’s stocking with:
Santa, a website package would be great this holiday! It’s been a while, and I sure need to shake things up! I love working on my website. I look at it as my storefront, and I try to add new content regularly. This year, I think it is time to freshen up my branding. A lot has changed in my business since it was done five years ago, and I would like my website to reflect that. I love the team that I work with, and I want to come up with something that still reflects my brand but also works better with how I want my clients to see me. I want them to know how hard I will work for them and to have confidence when casting me. I still want my bubbly personality to shine through. My dilemma, because of the pandemic, is whether or not to keep my headshots and work with them or to get new ones, so let’s see that Santa suggests!
Do I actually expect Santa to stuff my stocking with all of these treats? In truth, Christmas is not a holiday that my family observes, but as an American I have always LOVED this season. From the decorations to the cookies, I savor this time of year with my family. I enjoy thinking about the idea of Christmas magic. In truth, I have seen many hard working talents on the verge of giving up. A little holiday magic could help us all. What I believe most is that success takes vision, hard work, commitment, talent, and yes, a little luck. So this Christmas, as we eat cookies, drink eggnog lattes, and enjoy time at home, my dream is also for a little holiday luck for all my VO besties.
Late Friday afternoon I was in my booth recoding a bunch of agent auditions that had come in. Initially I felt fine. I had completed all of my booked work and I wanted to submit a few more reads before I called it a day. I typically don’t have a lot of mouth clicks when I record. I do run Izotope RX7 as part of my effects stack, which takes care of whatever clicks there are, but I tend to stay hydrated and am not so clicky, especially since I gave up caffeine. I noticed that even though my noise floor was the same as it always is, I had a crazy amount of spikes and clicks present that I do not typically see. This was 3 to 5 minutes before I became violently ill and had to run from the booth, I could see what I had no idea was about the be a horrible case of food poisoning, in my audio!
As a small business owner, I work all the time. Typically on the weekends I work less, but I still work at points every day. This food poisoning forced me to pause. I was not even sure on Saturday if I would be ok for my like sessions on Monday, but I know realize I will be. Talking is hard, sitting up is hard. Sometimes the forced rest is essential to get back to where we were. I guess it is an opportunity to reset- to restart. In truth I have no other option, when one is so dizzy that going up and down the stairs feels unsafe, the rest is the only option. In lieu of any work, I laid on the sofa in my den surrounded by my dogs and tried not o move at all.
Ah September. If you can actually remember what life was like pre-pandemic, September used to feel like a huge shift for us working moms, with an audible sigh of relief heard from coast to coast. While having our kids home to spend time by the pool and doing crafts is a time of joy, for solopreneurs who have always run our small businesses from home, summer has always involved juggling lots of balls. This year, 2020, has presented a whole new set of challenges, and if your family is like mine, your kids are “back in school” without leaving your house. While I confess that I am enjoying the extra time I have with my teens, it does present a lot of challenges for those of us whose career depends on quiet in the recording booth. Doors slamming, thumping and thudding on the steps, random proclamations- these barely scrape the barrel of what the new normal is like. The quietude is gone and with it I have, you guessed it, more balls to juggle as both my children and my husband are now in the house. All day. Every day. So no, this September, being a working mom and small business owner it is not easier, but I do have some strategies for coping in order to ensure that my goals stay in clear focus.
In order to maintain the balance between my role as a mom and my life as a professional voice over actor, accountability in my professional career is extremely important. I have blogged before about my group, but one of our touch points is health and wellness. When we started reporting on this years ago, I did not realize that the relevance of this area would increase in importance. Who could have predicted a pandemic? Every day wellness is a priority, including: steaming, supplements, eating well, etc.
Pilates is another focus of mine. After a difficult twin pregnancy, I have spent years rebuilding my core. I love that through the pilates I work on my breathing and that the workouts are total body workouts. I am learning to make connections and to listen to myself. Work as a voice over actor so much depends on connecting with people and connecting with scripts, so if I am connected with myself as a foundation of it all, I work better. At the start of every session, my instructor asks how I am feeling and for me to be aware of where my body is starting. I wish that I had people teach be to be aware of my physical state in this way when I was 12 years old. I think I would have treated myself very differently. In any event, I am thankful for this journey that I am on and pilates helps me very much.
“Don’t give up what you want most for what you want now.” Ultimately all of this matters because working moms have goals. As a voice actor, I have spent years building my business. It isn’t about getting through September, it is about making life work so that I reach these goals for myself and for my family. If we can’t see the forest through the trees, we just won’t get where we have worked so hard to go. In the shadow of the passing of the great Ruth Bader Ginsburg, we have a great torch to carry. She did it with such ease, and we must carry on for our children so that we can finish the work she set out to do.
Some days I wake up with a burst of energy and ready to get to work. Other days I am less energetic, but regardless, the outcome is the same: I do my thang in the booth. I’ll explain. I am pretty regimented when it comes to sticking to my voice over routine, and that routine enables me to balance both my mom tasks and my business tasks in a way that I am comfortable with. Most days follow the same pattern, with slight variation by day of the week. But some days, I am less “into it” than others. I was thinking it through the other morning and I thought this was a matter of inspiration. I was walking my dogs one day this week with my friend Melanie and she was telling me she felt the same way, that feeling when you just can’t get started. Melanie is a successful New York attorney who works extremely long days. While her career path is decidedly different than mine is as a working creative, this got my wheels turning. Both of us are working moms. Both of us work long days every day. And both of us build our household responsibilities into our professional goals. What, then, is the secret sauce? It came to me that while I often think of things only in terms of the presence and lack of inspiration, it is actually the ability to sustain the magic of the intersection of motivation and inspiration that makes success happen.
I will still also take care of myself too. I want to teach my children that is well. I will blow out my hair, put on some make up, do my nails, and do pilates. If I fall apart, how can I take care of the needs of so many others? Worse, what kind of example am I setting as a mother. So here I am, hanging out at this intersection I realized I love being at but only just named. And now that I’ve found it, I’m not going anywhere!!